I have an appointment at 12:00 noon so I needed the white car. The problem is I made the appointment yesterday at 8:00 pm so when I got home I was planning to tell my mom that I needed the car. But then she wasn't home so I didn't want to tell my dad because he's usually not really in charge of that stuff. But then I forget by the time she gets home so I just decided I would tell them this morning. I mean, my dad doesn't leave THAT early for work right? WRONG.

So I tell my mom anyways because it's not like I can just skip out on an appointment! But as soon as I mention it, my starts screaming at me about what a selfish child I am. I mean, granted, I did forget to tell her about the fact that I needed the car, but that was an honest mistake. It's not I deliberately planned to ruin her car plans. But I don't get how forgetting to say something about a car can make me all that selfish. The only reason I wanted her to go to Penn with me on the 28th was so that she could see her friend who she hasn't seen in forever, so yeah, excuse me if I've "never" thought about her well-being in the entirety of my 18 years of life!

Plus, I expect the only reason I AM this way is because this family is such a suppressor. There's only ever yelling yelling yelling and expectations, which is the only way I've ever seen a family...at least close up. So, sorry if I want to protect myself, as if it's unnatural for a human being to want to preserve their mental stability. I don't want to suffer like my mom because she's this huge time bomb waiting to go off every second of the day simply because she can't deal with anything. She handles the situation fine, but then after the situation, she goes pushing all her anger and stress onto everyone else because, what, she doesn't know how to just say something and think it through? I don't want to be like that. She says that we "push" all the responsibility on her as if she's just some tool, as if she doesn't do the same to us. And the only reason we push is because she never says a damn thing, she just yells and rants about it! She never says anything nice enough so we can remember something other than the fucking yelling.